 
'The Uterine Blues,' Connie May Fowler wonders when women are going to smarten up and stop sabotaging one another by sleeping with each other's husbands. The anthology features tales from women of all ages, lesbians and women who have been abused physically: it is a candid and truly fascinating look at how men and women love and hurt.
The Other Woman:
Twenty-One Wives, Lovers, and Others Talk Openly about Sex, Deception, Love, and Betrayal
Women today have more choices than at any time in history, yet many smart, ambitious, contemporary women are finding themselves angry, dissatisfied, stressed out. Why are they dissatisfied? And what do they really want? These questions form the premise of this passionate, provocative, funny, searingly honest collection of original essays in which twenty-six women writers
The Bitch in the House:
26 Women Tell the Truth about Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage
The husband of The Bitch in the House responds with a collection of original pieces by male writers about what men desire, need, love, and loathe in their relationships today
The Bastard on the Couch:
27 Men Try Really Hard to Explain Their Feelings About Love, Loss, Fatherhood, and Freedom
In this honest, hilarious, fiercely intelligent memoir, journalist Susan Shapiro dares to do what every woman dreams of: track down the five men who'd broken her heart and find out what really went wrong. Between the ages of thirteen and thirty-five, Susan had plunged into love, heart-first, five times. One bad breakup was more hurtful and humiliating than the next.
Five Men Who Broke My Heart:
Five Men Who Broke My Heart is for anyone who has ever wondered what became of their first love. Or second, third, fourth, or fifth...
"Sweet Ruin is a juicy, delectable novel, with pitch-perfect dialogue and characters that leap to fascinating life; every scene unfolds with complexly intertwined sexual suspense and emotional resonance. Hanauer is a born novelist." Kate Christensen, author of The Epicure's Lament
Sweet Ruin
by Cathi Hanauer: ravely tackling the complexity of sexual life....Skillfully imagined, bittersweet portrait of marriage and sacrifice |
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"Carnal" Attraction
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Marriage and sexual relation
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Besides engaging in sexual activity role of wife and husband is to make family and strengthen it
Marriage is a social arrangement to allow woman and man to live together;
a social acceptance and conformity to maintain sexual relation for reproduction. Social purpose of marriage is to regulate
sexual relation between man and woman. This system of sexual behavior differentiates human from other species, builds sexual
connection more respectable and meaningful to maintain discipline in the society. Each society has different systems of marriage
in relation to its culture, yet, the objective of all is to recognize sexual conduct of partners living together. Sexual activity
is the foundation of marriage and fulfillment is the tool for constant relation. Sexual craving is the attraction that drags
to togetherness. Under the social system of marriage, couples achieve identity and highest respect in the society that protects
their relation.
For nature sexual activity may be procreation but for human it is sexual craving,
leads to seek partner for the fulfillment and marriage is the social solution. Society
disallows sexual relation before marriage or extra marital affairs, reason behind this if approved there would be no difference
between human and other species. Human too would act as animals for seeking partner. For animals may not be dangerous as their
sexual periods are in long intervals, on the other hand human have short and frequent could lead to violent atmosphere. Social
interference is to arrest such unwanted activities to store rights and peace.
Marriage is portrayed as religious and fortunate that people wait anxiously for
this moment to enter married life. Celebrations and custom rituals signify the identity of being Wife / Husband and togetherness.
Real life begins for both individuals when they need to share personality and sensual feelings. Sex rules in the beginning
of married life for openness and understanding each other. Sex is the instrument that connects both to represent as one to
make family, family becomes a fraction of the society. Sexual contentment is essential for first stage to retain married life
intact. First stage of married life is sensitive; each partner’s
endeavor is to influence own approach to create self environment in the home. This
is psychological war to create own dominance, weaker one has to surrender. Man surrenders when he is economically, physically
and emotionally weak. Women are more sensible, understand social pressure on women as each religion prescribes women’s
role as submissive. Also as I feel man is not as keen as woman to bind self in the family. It is woman’s attempt; man
sticks in the family. Woman’s desire of own family is for protection/security of own and children. Woman needs freedom
but with protection and security, to an adult woman her own family is her security. Keeping “family” in the mind
she sacrifices the dominance. Without woman there is no family so woman is the pillar of the family structure. In modern world
woman’s rights have awakened her to educate self and economic independence. Has revolutionized the social thinking about
woman, she is now more independent and self esteemed resulted many changes of married life. Both men and women have to compromise
for stable family. Old system of marriage is not practical any more, both man and woman need to be familiar with each other
before marriage, so can understand the personality and history can help to advance. Solutions
become easier to rectify weaker points in order to consecrate family value.
- Sincerity of both the partners builds
confidence in them to last relation.
- In many a cases disappointment takes place when desire exists for unreachable in any form. "Adore
what you have and what is within reach".
- Sincerity of both the partners builds
confidence in them to last relation.
- Sexual satisfaction is enticement
to keep relation so not to hesitate. Satisfy partner in whatever painless/ non hurting manner.
- Many marital disputes are due
to past sexual relations that are kept secret. When exposed becomes matter of life and death. Revelation in the beginning avoids misunderstanding.
- Compromising own ego for positive
reasons builds smoothness.
Second stage of marriage is the outcome of sexual activities; a birth of new member
of the family. New member draws all the attentions of family life and first stage of life becomes memories. Wife and Husband
experience own image in the child that incites them to care more than self. Child’s biological appearance attracts adults
to submit selves for compassion towards child is the natural instinct for safe growth.
Responsibility towards growth of the new born becomes important activity.
Woman’s sexual interest weakens for limited period, is natural law to pay attention for best breast feeding. Women can
not avoid breast feeding as pressure builds up in breast that has to be released, relief she gets from release is pleasure
for her. This natural law is to feed the child perfectly. As a father becomes more responsible towards family and child so
involves more into the family affairs. His submission to the situation is to protect child from any unwanted troublesome.
Second stage defines father as protector and mother as producer of future generation of own identity. Sexual activity becomes
second to child’s growth, especially woman who works heavily for child’s growth. However, sexual desire is such
a greed that never eliminates until reaches unsuitable age, is to add members in the family. So the second stage of marriage
is giving birth and taking care of family to grow. Contribution of their role steps further towards more members and their
health. Woman’s role is important as she needs to care children and diverts her attention from husband to child and
house but if she goes to office her life becomes chaotic. Overburdened lady weakens her health and sexual desire, irritation
and depression builds up due to weakness and intense involvement. Man on the other hand finds self in little anxiety as the
approach/response is not as before. More necessities and demands of family load him if he is economically weak. On the whole
life of both wife and husband is not as easy as before. The egoism and self-esteem overpowers them when feel hurt, leads to
arguments. An argument is the first stage of worsening family. In a good family both realize the situation and accommodate
for smooth run. Normally, this situation prompts to find ways to criticize each other makes uneasy life. The test of constructive
married life begins; most educated and able people succeed this test to step towards third stage of married life, on the other
hand uneducated or self-centered people face this situation as hard test and many of them fail. Those fail break up and search
for new beginning or search for extra affair. Good and bad relation of wife and husband influences children too as they experience
by observing. The relation becomes doubtful to them mom and pop becomes less relevant especially during puberty. This is what
we observe in divorced or violent families, children too become violent and depressed. Second stage is also very difficult
for egoistical issue-less couple, feeling of partner as burden or loneliness drives to extra marital affairs.
- Remember
best moment enjoyed with the partner is positive signal of attraction to prolong relation.
- Anger infuriates; is fire only cool
approach can extinguish.
- Extra marital life is curse to married
life.
- There is no one else to come to
assist if brought would worsen further. So wife and husband together need to console each other and prepare for next challenge.
- There is no house where difference
of opinions are not there but adjusting, accommodating and making understand the good and bad part will help. Avoid arguments
as escalates situation and never helps. Patience is water to fire.
- Sexual activities are best jokes,
games, attraction, consolation, affection, rejuvenation, temporary medication from depression and etc. So of use this gifted
source prepares for next challenge.
- Birth of child conveys purpose of
the family so don’t delay. Child bring purpose to live. Adoption of child too serves purpose for issue-less family.
Loneliness is curse can drive to wrong situation; business and involvement in daily affairs can evade this situation.
Third stage of married life is middle age and role is strengthening family. Self
interest is now least the only interest is how to establish the family as strong. Children and necessities rule the house
and parents fulfill rightful wants. Children are now grown and the responsibility is to train them to survive. All efforts are to give best training learnt from own parents. Children learn by experiences and observations
of parents activities. For knowledge to children, parents give good education as much as possible to see their children improving
to live in the world. From status of wife and husband they are now mother and father. Sexual activity is not as frequent as
before now objective is to extinguish craving whenever exists. Couples are now matured Mother and Father. Father’s responsibility
is arranging for needs and mother’s is to utilize for home in planned way. Routine responsibility and failures sometime
become tedious to frustrate both, results desperation to damage family. Past experiences and success consoles to continue
responsibilities.
- Sex rejuvenates their relation and
understanding to perform responsibilities though the desire is not as strong as in the young age.
- Sharing daily the bad/good activities
to seek guidance is way to involve and invite partner to the responsibilities.
- Sparing time for own leisure revives
to undertake next day responsibility.
- For better children need to be better
parents.
- Amusing and broadmindedness is for
beautiful environment.
Fourth stage of married life is old age when no one is left except the old memories
and the life partner. Old age is the recap of all past experiences when remember the best and worst incidences of life to
repent and enjoy. Success of children gives satisfaction that children were well cared. The loneliness now is for review past,
wish somebody to share with. Children too head off to perform their own responsibilities with the experiences and knowledge
gained during stay with mother and father. Visit of children is rare and only
during family celebrations or holidays. Some times to stay content with their greeting cards or telephone calls. This is the time when oldies need support of each other to hang on rest of the life. The real affection
even without sex makes them as happy as the past. A memory of their marriage and hang on for long becomes purposeful instrument
of attachment. Longer the relation gives stronger affection and support for old life.
- Past experiences contribute to give
good and bad relation in old age.
- Old life is of total dependence
so is the responsibility of children to take care as parents did to them.
- Old is gold; share experiences with
needy to improve social behavior.
- Partner’s bad experiences
during past should not become an issue to blame. It hurts old age.
- Old age is an age of irritation,
troublesome and egoism due to insecurity, bad health, weakening memory, and fear to leave earth may not be liked by youthful,
need to realize that this is their future so respect them.
Life of wife and husband is full of responsibilities; to conduct this responsibility
their togetherness is essential. Sexual craving and pleasure is enticement to enter and carry the married responsibilities.
Carrying responsibilities is by joining hands. Meaning of individual in married life is one family. Before thinking self thinking
the family is married life.
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