Husband is her asset she likes to keep
protected and would hate to share with others.
For a man and woman marriage
is the second life to live. Both dream to experience the second stage of life “the marriage.” Wish to become dominant
members of the family comes true where they act their own ways. The own family and
responsibilities give the opportunity to gain honor. Woman’s role in running a house is more important thus she gains
significance. Therefore, for a woman marriage means
more than anything in the world does. For her, the marriage is an emotional attachment. For her marriage means, are freedom from parental restrictions
and social pre-marriage compulsions. Her first dream is the freedom of the sexual contact without the fear; her second
dream to have her own identity as wife and mother. Own home is the place for her to exhibit her personality, being a wife
is her dignity. For a wife husband/partner is not only the sexual partner rather he is her security, support, and strength, and the
closest companion with whom she can share her feelings. For her husband is a partner she can share everything of her life
which she cannot share with others even mother/father and kids. Third dream is to have own children fathered by her husband/partner
who is her closest companion. These dreams are the attractions, which contribute to emotions she possesses for the life after the marriage. She enters to second life
to form her own house comprising husband and kids where she plays her dominant role.
Therefore, for a woman marriage is emotional tie up to live together, share the feelings, and act independently for the house. For her the
husband/partner is not the security alone he is rather a partner to play with the joy/sorrow, sweet/sour.
Her dreams of marriage and
collected marriage values disintegrate when she finds her husband/partner is sharing with others what was meant for her. The
partner is her/his own property and dignity that she does not want to loose. Her man for her is everything, whatever kind
he is, she manages and sacrifices to get along as long as he is honest and dependable. Infidelity by her man is attack on
her marital status and is suicidal for her:
- She looses the trust and dependability; who would she trust when own man has cheated. She is devastated
sensitively and mentally. She leads her tensed life with grieving emotions would be enough to develop mental and physical
- Both partners believe sexual partner as a personal valuable asset that demonstrates dignity and pride.
A sexual partner is most valued partner becomes own dignity thus loosing partner is loosing dignity. Unfaithfulness of the partner is an insult to the personal values. So the matter becomes unbearable and embarrassment
if partner’s sexual attraction goes into others hands is shameful and loosing self-respect.
- Her financial and other security is at risk. For a woman, her male partner is her security and safety.
In addition, for a woman who is dependent, her man is the economic security. Her man shares her necessities, burdens, takes
responsibilities of her, and kids. When he is there she is totally worry free.
- Loss of the best and emotional friend/partner she got. She, as she wished could share with partner
her sentiments, anger, sorrow and everything of her was for her mental relief, what she cannot share with unknown. So is an
emotional attack on her.
- For a woman it is pride when her man is around her. Absence of the partner results loneliness, which
she would hate more than anything. Loneliness exists when is unable to share personal thoughts and sentiments with reliable
person, is like killing self.
- She/he is not worried of her/his relation out side
marriage rather what worries him/her is loosing emotional attachment woven during the whole episode. So more than the security she looses the emotional values she possessed and shared. Security is for
survival and emotional attachment is for the energy she needs for existence. That is why women feel totally distressed when
her man deceives.
- For a man his woman is his dignity and for a woman
her man is her dignity and identity. Her man is her identity as father of her children. Her man is her identity as her security.
Living and sharing together is attachment
of both souls they unknowingly build. Feeling of oneness contributes to energetic atmosphere. Feeling of meant for each other
with who can fight, love, share, capitulate, expect, involve sentimentally
and etc; all attachments are disintegrated when one cheats. Woman is more touching as uses heart more than the brain to visualize
so is intolerable for her that her man shares his life with other woman too.
Infidelity is psychological syndrome created by attraction of the opposite, genetic and discontented
behaviour, unrelenting sexual and emotional craving. Infidelity is an outcome of fading ambience, dislike, despair, humiliation,
loneliness and etc. No adult person can escape the attraction of opposite sex, it influences our mind to admire and capitulate
towards the quality. Some attractions are too strong to influence us to get involved emotionally despite married life; this
involvement of extra marital is named by the society as infidelity. Woman too is human, she too has feelings and her body
chemicals too react by mental signals when comes in contact with attractive person. She too perceives the virtues of attraction
and imagines relating with, but in many occasions her conscious prevents getting involved observing the danger of family and
social consequences. In developed countries she has rights to leave the partner for better. But when she keeps two philanders
simultaneously becomes offence and is extra marital relation.
Most marriages in rural and urban developing countries are arranged by parents. Both would be partners
are unknown to each other. In our religious fundamental world woman is a second citizen so has to live with the person loaded
on her. Woman’s role is to maintain home, taking care of children and at
night to act as sexual toy, beyond these if she thinks is an offence which society can to tolerate. Woman has to accept all
the terms and conditions of the male partner. If the partner is disgusting still she has to live under his cruelty, undependability
and humiliation. She has no other choice as religious and social rights are curtailed; she suppresses her desires and dreams
of married life and consoles as this is her fate. For her life on earth is the penalty for sins she committed in her previous
birth. Even Government laws can not protect them as social and its religious laws are more effective. If she wants to live
in the society she has to obey the social compulsions. She can not leave the unmatched and seek partner of own choice because
it is religious crime. If likes other man of own choice the only way-out for her is to make affair in her dreams. Fear of
repentance is so dominant that she is scared even to dream the liking person. If by mistake the pre marital love affair is
disclosed becomes humiliating for whole life. It is beyond imagination of her man to accept as her past relation hurts his
dignity and pride for not having virgin woman as a wife. She has to succeed the test of virginity in the first night of marriage.
If she fails is either sent back to the parents blaming her impurity or left to suffer for whole life.
Whether developed or undeveloped or religious fundamental country, woman is human she too possesses
the sentiments and desire to look attractive to be liked by others. Woman by nature are very much conscious about their look
is the nature’s law and the sense behind this is to look attractive. The attraction is an enticement to men to act in
order to lure women for physical contact. Some women escape keeping the social obligations in mind and some get lured to initiate
relation. Attraction is such an enticement that some fall victim to it. Most control in fear of social consequences by suppressing
their craving. Yet with some, emotions overpower so get involved unconsciously for emotional attachment. Impact of social
obligations is too strong in religion dominated countries that she is made to repent for her involvement. She is desecrated
by the society for violating social norms and becomes hatred for family and society. She
becomes evil and treatment is in accordance to her status:
- First she looses is the emotional attachment in the
family with whom she felt comfortable. In case she despised, she may feel internally punishing the partner but externally
she is still helpless and needs a home to live, as she can not live alone in this unsecured world.
- She suffers when the truth comes out to deteriorate
her married life, makes her life hell. She comes under threats, violence and
humiliation from husband/partner.
- Her secret love affairs for craving is unbearable
to the religion so she is punished and desecrated to set an example so others do not go for such conduct.
- Dependant woman looses her economic security and
safety. Society and its religion quarantine her to discourage participation and involvement in social activities.
- Suspicion of husband/partner as father of her children
becomes humiliation to her. She suffers identity crisis.
- Even though husband/partner forgives the infidelity
yet the feelings and pain remains in the heart thus home is no longer sweet home to unfaithful wife.
- Break from the existing home is anxiety which she
has to carry whole life whenever her memory rebounds.
- A child questioning her for loss of father is embarrassment.
- She may be economically secured but not emotionally
what she shared and stored.